Easing the Emotional Minefield

While visiting my mother last weekend, I helped her complete an inventory of items she owns that are in the home she shares with her husband. She wants the inventory so that, when the time comes, my siblings and I know what’s hers. The rocking chair and shelf in this picture are on that list; the shelf belonged to her parents, who died when she was 16. My mother’s emotional connection to these pieces is strong and she wants one of us to have them some day.

The process of decluttering or downsizing can be an emotional minefield. Our possessions often elicit stories and sentimental connections. Ideally, the process of cleaning out allows space for sharing stories and working through emotions. It helps to have a guide you can trust with those stories as well as your emotions, someone who can hold the space and help you figure out what to do with your belongings.

Earlier this year, while helping a client clean out her garage, we came across items that had great meaning. My role was to help her sort and make decisions, with compassion and patience. Afterwards she wrote, “Stephanie’s ability to help me ‘let go’ amazed me; she not only helped me realize I could do it, but I could do it with gusto! Stephanie was also kind enough to allow me time to reminisce over precious items that I completely forgot I had in my garage.” Listening to her stories was an important part of my work.

It’s an honor to come alongside clients to ease the burden of the sorting process; my goal is to help them decide what they need and want to keep in their current season of life to be happy and comfortable, and to find appropriate places for what they no longer want to keep. Releasing an item doesn’t mean relinquishing the memories; sometimes sharing those memories makes it easier to honor the item before letting go.